Orange Juice Friend
In light of events in the last couple months, and elaborating on my post about “being understood,” I have been thinking a lot about what it means to be a friend. I've come to value friendships in these last several years. Like I mentioned in that previous post, it is so precious to find someone who “gets you.” It is a lot to hope that someone can even understand who you are beyond the person in front of them … that they are willing to learn about your past, figure out how your mind and heart work, and get the whole picture. I never understand when someone is willing to invest in me to that degree. Why me? But I am so very thankful and blessed by those who do.
I remember just a few years ago I felt like I had no one like that. I had many close friends, but I as no one's best friend (other than my cousin Carli, of course, but distance and lack of regular communication makes that relationship special). I am still close to all of my high school girlfriends, but again, they are not in the area.
I remember getting super sick and all I wanted was orange juice, but I was too weak to walk to the corner to get some. As I've mentioned in previous posts, I hate to feel like an imposition to friends and while I love to serve, I hate to ask for help. So when you find that friend that you are willing to ask to pick you up from the airport, or call when your car breaks down, or call to bring you orange juice ... it is a dear thing. I lay in my bed and cried because I didn't have an “orange juice friend." I didn't have that person that would call you and make sure you weren't dead. Well, actually I had one (Berna) but she was home in Turkey visiting for the month ... and she doesn't have a car so while she'd do anything for me, she is limited to by foot and Metro. :) I was so sad, and then my friend Thomas called. He said “you haven’t been at work and I thought I’d check up on you … do you want me to bring you something when I get out of class tonight, like orange juice or something?”
God is so faithful. Even though Thomas was a good friend, he wasn’t that super-close friend that I would normally rely on. But it was like God was saying, “I’m always here, I will always provide.” It is amazing how God can deliver that help, or hug, or listening ear just when you need it … sometimes from an unexpected source that makes it all the more miraculous. After that, I was convicted to really cultivate my friendships and invest in some deeper relationships.
I have been blessed with an amazing group of female friends who are each a kindred soul in a different way. They radiate the love of Christ, have the patience of Mother Theresa (listen to my stories and ride the roller coaster that is my emotional stability), the wisdom of Solomon (and have to give me the same relationship advice over and over :), and the tenacity of … well, someone really tenacious in the way they pursue me and don’t give up on me.
In the last eight months, I have not reflected the degree to which I appreciate these friendships. A new relationship, a new job, and issues at church all led to me not investing the time and depth I would have liked to my friendships. I thought I was dating a potentially new best friend and fell in love with his church community and close friends. They are all wonderful people, which isn’t surprising since I was dating a wonderful person. However, I was not maintaining my support network. I was not seeking the counsel of those that know me best. It was a season of introversion, and maybe a little selfishness … yet I know my friends were lifting me up in prayer.
Praise God for friends who reflect the love of Christ. Their love, consistency, and capacity for grace are invaluable. They don't resent me when I am absent, yet they celebrate in joy when I am present. Their patience and tolerance of my long-winded stories, even more long-winded psychoanalysis, and constant quest of self-improvement are blessings beyond measure. And while I am still struggling with my reluctance to ask for help or favors, I am at peace knowing that if I were to let them, I’d have a whole army of “orange juice friends.”
In light of events in the last couple months, and elaborating on my post about “being understood,” I have been thinking a lot about what it means to be a friend. I've come to value friendships in these last several years. Like I mentioned in that previous post, it is so precious to find someone who “gets you.” It is a lot to hope that someone can even understand who you are beyond the person in front of them … that they are willing to learn about your past, figure out how your mind and heart work, and get the whole picture. I never understand when someone is willing to invest in me to that degree. Why me? But I am so very thankful and blessed by those who do.
I remember just a few years ago I felt like I had no one like that. I had many close friends, but I as no one's best friend (other than my cousin Carli, of course, but distance and lack of regular communication makes that relationship special). I am still close to all of my high school girlfriends, but again, they are not in the area.
I remember getting super sick and all I wanted was orange juice, but I was too weak to walk to the corner to get some. As I've mentioned in previous posts, I hate to feel like an imposition to friends and while I love to serve, I hate to ask for help. So when you find that friend that you are willing to ask to pick you up from the airport, or call when your car breaks down, or call to bring you orange juice ... it is a dear thing. I lay in my bed and cried because I didn't have an “orange juice friend." I didn't have that person that would call you and make sure you weren't dead. Well, actually I had one (Berna) but she was home in Turkey visiting for the month ... and she doesn't have a car so while she'd do anything for me, she is limited to by foot and Metro. :) I was so sad, and then my friend Thomas called. He said “you haven’t been at work and I thought I’d check up on you … do you want me to bring you something when I get out of class tonight, like orange juice or something?”
God is so faithful. Even though Thomas was a good friend, he wasn’t that super-close friend that I would normally rely on. But it was like God was saying, “I’m always here, I will always provide.” It is amazing how God can deliver that help, or hug, or listening ear just when you need it … sometimes from an unexpected source that makes it all the more miraculous. After that, I was convicted to really cultivate my friendships and invest in some deeper relationships.
I have been blessed with an amazing group of female friends who are each a kindred soul in a different way. They radiate the love of Christ, have the patience of Mother Theresa (listen to my stories and ride the roller coaster that is my emotional stability), the wisdom of Solomon (and have to give me the same relationship advice over and over :), and the tenacity of … well, someone really tenacious in the way they pursue me and don’t give up on me.
In the last eight months, I have not reflected the degree to which I appreciate these friendships. A new relationship, a new job, and issues at church all led to me not investing the time and depth I would have liked to my friendships. I thought I was dating a potentially new best friend and fell in love with his church community and close friends. They are all wonderful people, which isn’t surprising since I was dating a wonderful person. However, I was not maintaining my support network. I was not seeking the counsel of those that know me best. It was a season of introversion, and maybe a little selfishness … yet I know my friends were lifting me up in prayer.
Praise God for friends who reflect the love of Christ. Their love, consistency, and capacity for grace are invaluable. They don't resent me when I am absent, yet they celebrate in joy when I am present. Their patience and tolerance of my long-winded stories, even more long-winded psychoanalysis, and constant quest of self-improvement are blessings beyond measure. And while I am still struggling with my reluctance to ask for help or favors, I am at peace knowing that if I were to let them, I’d have a whole army of “orange juice friends.”
1 Comments:
At 8:57 AM,
McCoy family said…
I struggle with that too. My husband is my best friend and so I feel so lost when he is traveling. But this time has been a bit better because I have more close friendships. In fact, I was way busier last week than I would have ever imagined, and it was all because these friends called me up, knowing that I would be lonely. I hate asking for help too sometimes, and so while I asked for prayers while he is gone, I didn't say, "so if you have any free time, hang out with me!" but I definitely appreciate them thinking of me.
In my current situation, I don't feel like I can completely let my guard down, even with these friends, because then the floodgates would open up and I don't want that to happen, but I do know that they are genuinely interested in my well-being and I appreciate that.
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